Dear Santa:
I’ve been working hard all year to make your nice list, but Life as a CEO isn’t always easy.
There’s the cooking, which I am not great at, and the cleaning, which I don’t like to do, and the ironing, which I never do. Sometimes I whine about needing an extra hour in the day, or an extra set of hands, or a clone. I yell at my kids, am quick to tell off cashiers (usually only when pms’ing) and tend to get grouchy with my husband. I’ve double booked appointments, neglected to mail birthday cards, and missed things I’ve planned to attend. I’ve skipped serving a veggie with dinner. I’ve offered my kids a second serving to fruit snacks so that I could check my email in peace and quiet. I’ve certainly chose the half-a$$ road due to exhaustion, and sometimes desperation, on more than one occasion.
I’m no Stepford wife, or Mrs. Clever, or Mr. Clean for that matter. But, my home is a happy one.
My husband loves pizza, and he doesn’t correct me when I say I cleaned the bathroom even though what I really meant was that I took a Lysol wipe to it. My children are healthy, thriving, respectful, loving children, and they never complain when I offer that extra serving of fruit snacks. My family and friends love me in spite of my often absentmindedness and hypochondriac tendencies. The groups that I volunteer endless hours for are flourishing with success. I’ve unselfishly donated my own goods and money to those in need. I am good to my neighbors, polite to strangers (you can not hold PMS against me!) and strive to take care of Mother Earth.
I don’t “need” anything per say. But, I could be the total package if you grant me the following Christmas Wish List:
(1) An IPhone—Since it’s so important that I manage all of my daily tasks as CEO, this little device would allow me to multi-task and provide me with no excuse to forget appointments or birthdays.
(2) A dishwasher—If I had a dishwasher, I’d steer away from one-dish meals and explore the world of cooking.
(3) A new set of Pots and Pans—in exchange for that one dish from above.
(4) A new COACH Bag—since Miss Mac is now potty trained and I no longer need a super duper Diaper Bag, maybe one that has all sorts of interior compartments to hold my new IPhone so that I am never without
Facebook it?
(5) A Boob Job—don’t my boobs deserve to be “happy”, too.
Thanks, Santa. You’re the best!
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Love your sense of humor and style of writing!
No dishwasher, with kids? OMG! I once waitressed full-time for a year, and even though I didn't have to wash dishes these, I swore that forever after my one requirement for any apartment or house would be a dishwasher. I just couldn't stand the way my hands smelled (no matter how much I washed them) after handling food and dishes all day.
Here's hoping you get some of your wishes come true!
What a hysterical post! I bet if we all wrote letters to Santa there would be a lot of interesting reads going on in the blog world. Hmmm.. That's an idea!
Hope you get everything on your list!
I would say I have to agree with your wish list, except the dishwasher since I already have one….and maybe a boob lift
Hope you have a great Christmas
Nothing would "Perk up the Holidays" like a Christmas Boob Job!
This was a great letter to Santa. I hope he comes through for you.
A great list….I hope you get the dishwasher first! That's a necessity!
lol thanks for sharing!
HAHAHA LOVE the boob job….and yes they too deserve to be happy!
The boob job might me a nice present for Daddy Mac too! A two for one gift! lol
Oh I want most of the things on your list too..
Ok, totally have to blog a letter to Santa soon too. You inspired me, plus I also want an iphone now