Job Description {of the day}: Wife
When I was my husband’s girlfriend…I really strived to be “hot.” I worked out almost daily, and flaunted what I thought was a sexy body with coordinating bra and panty sets from Victoria Secret. I owned just one velour sweatsuit– & even that was cutsie baby pink set that didn’t have lollipop stuck to it or boogers wiped across it. I went for bi-monthly manicures, never had roots {gasp!}, washed my face every night before bed and got regular facials. All of these acts made me feel confident {& sexy} in my own skin. 
When I was my husband’s girlfriend…I didn’t always spend the night. I had a hard time becoming confident in the “trust” department thanks to some crappy relationships & my broken family upbringing, but I did come to realize the benefits of giving your partner space. I am a firm believer that absence makes the heart grow fonder. After a night home alone channel surfing, or a night out with pals, we always looked forward to the thrill of spending quality time together.
When I was my husband’s girlfriend…I hid some things from him. Like horrific smelling farts, or strange noises coming from the bathroom. Sure, I once sneezed and wiped my boogs on his couch {true story!} but for the most part, I acted like a lady & made certain that some things remained a mystery.
When I was my husband’s girlfriend….I was always up for a romp in the sack. {enough said.}
When I was my husband’s girlfriend….I was always up for anything! I wasn’t haggard and tired, or cranky and moody. Dinner out? Sure! Dinner in? Why not! A movie? You pick! A concert? Even better!
This March, DaddyMac & I will be married for 7 years. I worked hard at being his girlfriend, but I don’t always work hard at being his wife. Any mom can relate to the physical, mental and emotional toll of child-rearing & -raising–and I believe its understandable and acceptable to allow the exhaustion of motherhood to take over. But now that my kids are growing, and we are starting to settle into our lives, I am realizing how important it is to nurture our relationship, and my personal self. And I think reflecting on my girlfriend-self is a great place to start.
What about you? What are some things that you have done to “bring sexy back” into your relationship?
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Technically, I am not married yet (June 26 is FINALLY the day), but we have been together for almost 6 years and living together for 4 of them. We are comfortable and I miss the days where..we weren’t (I’m sure you understand). I was never one to work out and I was fun then…but after a huge weight gain I decided to bring sexy back into our relationship I needed a confidence boost. So when I started working out and lost 55-60 pounds (it varies) I have noticed I carry myself differently. I’m trying a lot more to “try”, I’m even wearing makeup again (not everyday because I’m not 15 anymore and I don’t have time for that lol).
Great points! I totally understand that a good confidence boost can go a LONG way and benefit our relationships. It’s so important to love yourself, as quirky as that may sound.
After 26 years, we’re both comfortable, and that’s okay. This is my second marriage and Hubby’s third. (He was divorced after a one year marriage, then lost his second wife to cancer after seven years. I met him four years after her death.) I was married 12 years, and divorced four years before I met hubby. We fit well together. I’m 65 and he just turned 70. I guess we’re in this now for the duration! lol
What do I do? I date him…even if our “date” consists of putting the kids to bed early and curling up with a glass of wine on the couch. When we went through the toughest time of our marriage, a great part of our problem was putting everything else–kids, house, work, etc.–first before us all the time. Yes, sometimes other things must come first, but to never be first…well, then you have a business arrangement, not a marriage. (We’re on year nineteen and still going….)
You look cute in the velor suit!
Cute post, and so true! My hubby and I have been together for nearly 16 years now…married almost 12. We were college sweethearts, and our kids think it is hilarious that we have the photos we do (and those are just the ones we can show them!) It doesn’t happen all the time, but we try to to occasionally do some of the things we did when we were dating in college. We have weird work schedules, so lately we have been going on weekly breakfast dates…sure we are eating with all the retired couples in the area, but it keeps things fresh, and reminds us of what we were able to do before kids. Just the fact that you can see how different you are than you were when you were your husbands’ girlfriend, testifies to your commitment to him and your relationship.
Too tired to bring sexy back. Sexy is too far gone.
Hi there. My name is Melissa and I just found your blog. Cute stuff! My husband and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary in June. Hmmm… sexy me? I don’t think of myself as sexy; however, in terms of re-connecting with my husband and getting “close to him.” We try and have dinner (just the two of us) about twice a year (for our engagement anniversary and our wedding anniversary). Oh… and I just bought my first thong yesterday. I have to say, that my sweet husband was pretty excited about that!
Have a great day!
- Melissa
Hi, I just found your blog through Happy Mom of 5 Mclinky! I can relate to almost everything you have said on this post. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Erica & Melissa for being my newest followers! I am glad you can relate!
It’s funny that you posted about this now. I’ve tried for the 2 years to be a better wife. Lost weight. Do my hair instead of a pony tail. I feel like now that I’m not pregnant or giving birth I don’t have an excuse to not try.
apparently I got it to work…Chinese or not
Thanks for the tips!!
I’m not married yet, but I know how hard you have to work to feel confident and feel like you do what you have to do to keep a relationship. However, I do have two kids and I realize how exhausting that is. This is why I don’t date just yet. I don’t feel like I can keep up a relationship while being exhausted with my kids. I figure when they get a little older, I would be able to do that.
I’m a new follower and this totally relates to me as well. It’s been 7 years and this is my second marriage. I’d like to have dates like you guys do..that sounds wonderful..but I think I was too tired
to bring sexy back and problems arose. So I now have learned my lesson and will try my hardest to
bring it back. How? I’m trying to lose at least 50 lbs. to start with and go from there to the weekly dates,
if not, at least monthly.
Oh my word, I loved this post! Look at your cutie pie adorable self in that picture! I’ve been married for 4.5 years and with my husband for 10.5. Seriously, I can 100% relate to this post. I recently shed all of the weight from 2 babes plus some, so now I feel uber sexy and that works out very well for the hubs, LOL! Still, it’s very tiring having two small children, caring for them and a husband, trying to remember that I’m a person who deserves some outlets (in more ways than just shopping) and hobbies, too, and then trying to carve out some sexy time? Ain’t as easy as I wish.
The thing is that I love my husband to pieces and find him still to be the most interesting, funniest, hottest man in the world. Is he even hotter because he finds my stretch marks completely irrelevent? Of course! Is he even more funny and interesting because he’ll watch DVDs of “30 Rock” with me after cutting an entire pineapple for me to gorge myself on for a Friday night (only 210 cals, fabulous!)? Yeppo! I like this man, and so I make time for him to rejuvenate himself as a person – like he took at trip with his buds to Oktoberfest in Munich this past fall – and also time together for the two of us whether it’s 10 minutes in our room with the door closed and the kids playing in theirs or a night on the town, like his company party this past weekend. Ain’t nothing better than my guy in a suit! It was a dream come true!
I found you through FF and am so glad that I did, mama! Have a lovely week!
)
This has to be my favorite blog by far! I laughed the whole time and can relate so much to this! I was a better girlfriend:) LOL Thanks for the laughs!
I love the breakfast dates! Great way to start the day!
So glad you found my blog! Thanks for your reponse and thoughts. It’s amazing how much better we feel in our relationships when we feel good in our own skin!
I am glad so many people are relating to this. I didn’t want it to come across like I was complaining, but boy do I feel like I am in a funk (with myself!) lately. It’s amazing how that can affect relationships. I still want your trainers number, too!!
LOL This is very funny and so true. I’ve been married for …ever! I used to be matching panites and sile PJ’s. Now I’m hmm is that pair clean, Cool and bring on the yoga pants baby! (my butt still looks good in those) Ha!
Keep posting goodinfo.
What a great realization that we need to work and being a good wife. I try to always look nice for him and wear clothes he likes on me, shorts, tight tops, his sport team shirts.
Congrats on your SITS day!
I agree! It is hard to keep the “sexy” when you are covered in boogers, kids, cooking and cleaning. Hubs and I try to hae one date a week without kids. this is hard and a sacrifice as we have no family in the area to help out, but definitely worth it. Even if we are only gone for an hour to grab a coffee at Starbucks, it is nice to talk to another adult that knows you and loves you about something other than kids, house, etc.
I focus on being truly healthy and happy, because that’s where the sexiness comes from. But I don’t have kids yet, so I know things will be a lot more difficult then!
Cute blog. Good tips for the day.
I don’t need to bring sexy back, it hasn’t ever left…We don’t have kids and I am still my hubby’s girlfriend, it’s been that way for 9 1/2 years now!
)))
Great post! How old are your kids? Ours are 2 and 1 and life is quite chaotic right now. We try to spend time together, but it’s hard when you don’t have family around. What I do is: getting my nails done regulary, I just love that french manicure:) I put make up on every day (it only takes me 2-3 minutes), sometimes I put make up while I’m waiting on a long red light (I have a 3 minute red light next to my house–just enough to put most of the make up on) I diet and exrecise at home when the kids sleep. As a result I wear size 5 again and it feels GREAT! I started selling cosmetics so I can feel like I have a little bit of life, which doesn’t involve the kids. I read their catalogues and feel beautiful just looking at all the make up. I order stuff. Since I’m a consultant I get great deals and I just take advantage of it. If you don’t feel good about yourself life will be even tougher and taking care of the kids will be harder.
Wow! You really put in the effort as a girlfriend. Hmmm Perhaps I should take some cues from you. I don’t know what my boyfriend would do if I was that girly. LOL
Happy SITS day!
I’m engaged, and my fiance and I have been living together pretty much from the first month, 2 years ago. It’s so easy to get into a comfortable routine. Lately I’ve been working out a lot and trying to get in shape for the wedding and I realized it really helps us too. Just feeling good about myself transfers over to him and my affection towards him. I think it’s great that you’re reflecting on when you were your husband’s girlfriend and realize how important it is to keep that closeness going.
Happy Sits day!
I did all those things too and add tanning. LOL After 8 years, my husband is complaining about lack of us time. We need it. We have 4 kids and never a moment to ourselves.
Great post!
How true, how true. I can relate to almost everything you said because I used to get my legs waxed! Oh, the things we do for love, right?
We also just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary last weekend. We’ve had our ups and downs but we are definitely in an up cycle which makes me smile everyday!
Awesome post! I make an effort daily to keep our love strong. We always eat dinner together, and weekends are all about our family. I try to make sure I am showered and dressed. The house being clean is one of my hubby’s quirks, so I always attempt to have it as clean as I can have it when we walks through the door. We have date night about once a month and this Sunday we are going to Maui for a week WITHOUT our daughter! We are both REALLY looking forward to having some good quality one on one time.
Hi, Happy SITS day!
I have been married for 23 years. And I have to tell you, my husband is still my best friend, my playmate, my love.
Not that there hasn’t been our big time share of the down times, but, for the most part we have been gloriously happy.
Here’s something my husband suggested aways back:: Vacations with just the two of us. We have our family vacations, but we also make sure to have our time together. The first few times I did it, I was in agony missing our 3 girls, but as we continued to do it, I realized it wasn’t so bad and then I realized it was actually really fabulous.
We also have a date night every week. Just to catch up and be a couple instead of a mom and dad.
I agree with the first commenter. I’m engaged and we’ve only been together three years. I have gained weight, though, and it has changed a lot about how I act, what I’m up for, how I feel on a daily basis, etc. It has definitely affected the relationship, even though my fiance seems to enjoy my bigger butt.
I finally lost about 10 pounds a few months ago, and now I’m setting off to lose the rest!
Hopefully we’ll be able to keep the magic alive once married life sets in
Great post. It will have us all thinking . . .
Happy SITS day!!! You know it’s funny how you can get so wrapped up in life that you forget to try at your relationships. I’m single now but I totally related to your post!!!
Hey you look hawt in that pink velour suit. I strive to still be my husband’s girlfriend MOST days even after almostg 17 years of marriage. It’s fun for me too and we both deserve it! My best way is to keep him guessing as to what sexy nightgown I will be wearing that night to bed, or none at all. Watch out! Happy SITS Day to you.
I love your pink velour suit and the pic is super cute. We have been married for 7 years, 8 years in November and I was laughing the whole time I was reading. This post is so real and so true. He gave me a brown velour suit for our first xmas as a married couple and I cannot believe that I still have it and wear it. I love it that much…maybe it’s time to let it go. lol!
But working out definitely does it for me, I can finally fit in to my skinny (size 8 skinny) jeans!!
We only have one kiddo and now that she is done with naps, she goes to bed early which means we are actually talking and hanging out again, it’s almost like we are dating lol!
But it has helped us tremendously!
Stopping by for your SITS day! What a great post- hubs and I have been married almost 10 years and are certainly feeling the strain of parenting and daily life. We try to do date nights, but the mindset you described here is a great way to get internally “geared up” for them!
Great post…it’s really important to try and stay your husband’s “girlfriend”…and that he do the same for you. We do a million little things…but I work from home and have 3 little ones…and I only wear sweatpants on really bad PMS days!
Just stopped by from SITS. Great post and good advice! I need to use it.
In a few weeks, we will have been married for 10 years. It certainly does take just as much or even more work to feed our marriage. Although, it is a different kind of work and nurturing, it is something that we cannot let go once we are married.
Stopping in from SITS.
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