We’ve all experienced disappointment. It could be as minor as realizing you aren’t holding the winning lottery ticket, or as huge as losing a loved one. No matter what size or shape it comes in, disappointment sucks.
I know that the disappointments I’ve experienced along the way have shaped me into the person I am today. I get that. I know that disappointments are just apart of life. I get that. I know that, despite these disappointments, my life is great. I get that. I’m just tired of getting disappointed in the first place.
It’s likely my fault. Maybe if I didn’t expect so much, I wouldn’t be disappointed as easily. I am an emotional person &, I’ll admit, I have high expectations with almost every aspect in life. If you {are lucky enough to be!} my friend, I will care about you deeply. I will be happy for you when you are happy, and sad for you when you are struggling. I throw myself into my family, my friends, my hobbies, my job–whatever it is that I am focused on in the moment. I like to give my whole self to whatever it is. I am not afraid of expressing myself, or being vulnerable around others. I may be scared of many things, but failure is not one of them. I’d rather fail at something–anything–knowing I tried than never try in the first place.
Sure, this personality, or behavior, can seem scattered or even overwhelming at times, and I certainly bite off more than I can chew often occassionally, but that’s who I am, and I am ok with that. I think that if I didn’t give myself to those around me, or throw myself into my hobbies or obligations, I’d be boring. But maybe I just set myself up with this type of attitude. Maybe I even take life too seriously at times.
You may be wondering, “what happened?” Well, nothing really. I am just realizing that some of the things I’ve devoted time to wasn’t all that worth it in the end, or relationships I’ve put my heart into and thought really mattered, don’t. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and it just sucks.
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I have to admit that I have found myself in this exact same predicament several times. I have ridiculously high expectations and feel like I am always being let down in some way, shape or form. Especially when it comes to friendships. I throw everything into my family, my blog, my photography and my friends. And when the ones that I care about the most don’t return the same thing, I feel disappointed. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
Hope it gets better!
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My mother used to say that if you never expect anything you’ll never be disappointed. But living with low expectations isn’t any fun either. Sometimes I think disappointments are directing us to where we’re supposed to be. It would be so great if there were just less of that kind of guidance.
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I am so feeling this right now, this line “I am just realizing that some of the things I’ve devoted time to wasn’t all that worth it in” exactly where I am at. In fact I am trying right now to figure out what to do this morning because I have 2 things I am committed to and only one I WANT to do, only 1 that brings me any satisfaction or joy etc. It’s so hard, but I need to recommit myself to only doing things that are good for me and my family. It’s just so hard to say no sometimes, and once I say Yes…I can’t half ass it…not my thing….sigh. I hope it gets better for you, I am working on making it better for me!
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I get it. It gets me down sometimes, too and I end up thinking certain friendships were such a waste.
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I totally feel like this a lot. I get upset so easily and I feel let down when things don’t go how I hoped or expected. And wasting time feels so awful, but I try (and it is hard to do!!!) to think of it as lessons learned instead of time wasted. When you combine that with a handful of chocolate chips you feel better, lol
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