Do you want to know why my playroom went from this…
to this…???
Because I’m the boss, that’s why!
There’s no way in hell that I am going to take orders from my kids anymore. Their bargaining, whining, and complaining are no longer welcome here . My house is not a playground open all hours for their jumping and running pleasure. Their toys thrown all over the place is not my idea of ”interior decorating.” I’m sick and tired of having to raise my voice to a high-pitched squeal in order to make my point to only see their teary-eyed faces staring back at me. And most of all, I am tired of threatening to take their toys if they don’t play with them.
So I did it. I took them. All of them.
Well, almost.
After their latest mishap {think running-through-my-living-room-flinging-their-bodies-on-the-couch-knocking-into-my-lamp-and-shattering-it-all-over-the-floor-after-being-told-to-go-play-in-the-playroom-resulting-in-my-screaming-in-that-high-pitched-squeal-I was-talking-about} I came up with my plan. I instructed them to choose one toy each that would remain in our playroom, and one toy each for their bedroom. The rest? Two piles–”to sell on craigslist” and “to eventually earn back.” They weren’t satisfied with either pile but, you know what? They’ll get over it.
While sorting the toys into these two piles, I yelled everything from “mommy-is-gonna-get-a-full-time-job-and-you’re-gonna-go-to-daycare-if-you-don’t-start-listening” to “if-you-don’t-like-my-new-rules-go-find-a-new-mommy-and-daddy.” Take my advice–don’t threaten that last one because the tears my son shed nearly had me pulling all of his toys back out and begging for his forgiveness.
As for earning the toys back, I haven’t figured out that part of my plan. I’ve played Mean Mommy enough for one day. I’ll let DaddyMac play Daddy Dearest when he gets home. I’m sure he’ll come up with something.
{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }
OH Mama! Good for you!!! I have been thinking of doing the same thing recently – my kids think its fun and ok to destroy everything.
It is funny sometimes the things we say out of frustration. I will listen to your advice and try not to yell the last one
Good for you!!! Everyone in awhile they need to be reminded. And it is better than what my dad did to me. I was a teen (14-16) and after repeatedly being told to clean my room (10x’s worse than the before playroom!) he got sick of telling me and used one of his mom’s tricks. I came home (after being warned it would happen if I didn’t clean) to EVERYTHING in my room on the front lawn. I do mean EVERYTHING. Bed, drawers, clothes, books, desk, computer…..everything. Needless to say for the remaining teen years my room stayed spotless as did most of the other kid’s rooms up and down the block.
Oh and another never to yell is “I am not Mommy anymore,that is no longer my name and NO I am not telling you my new name.” This can result in ending of mommy child friendships.
LOVE IT! I’m shaking my fist in the air for you!!
Sounds like someone’s been watching DR. Phil! That is so his method. “Find their currency, and use it!”
You didn’t!! LOVE it! Way to go….and you better stick to your guns and not cave and give those piles back!
Good for you! Oh, those tears though, they are a heart breaker.
YOU GO! My oldest is 2 1/2 and I may do something like this REALLY soon with him!
the new mommy line has me laughing. Just last week the following conversation occurred with my darling 3 year old: Her: “you can’t listen to me. . . . I want a new mommy. (pause – while mommy is standing there horrified) then she says, “yeah, a green one.”
You go girl! I took Son’s prized possession away a few nights ago…and yes, I felt glee inside.
My mom did something similar to this when I was a kid. It sucked at first but I got over it! Happy SITS day
You are too funny! Kids probably are given too many toys and “things” nowadays anyway. Congratulations on being SITS Featured Blogger!
AAHH I’m so tired of the mess here at home too. Glad to see that something worked.
Congrats on your SITS day! So happy to have found your blog!
Way to go, keeping the kiddies in line. You did a great clean up on the room. I’m sure you’ve considered this but the items you can’t sell, you can donate them to a child care agency or children’s hospital or group foster care placement. Congrats on being the SITS focus for today.
yeah..i think you need to come to my house and tell me who is boss (meaning–get me to stop telling myself to let it ride!)
congrats on your sits day. Now excuse me while i have a bit of a poke around!
This is great! Way to take charge! Happy SITS day!!!
Hurray for the boss lady!
Stopping by from SITS, they told today is your day! Enjoy!
I LOVE that attitude! Stopping by from SITS to say Happy Feature Day!!
Kids. They know how to push our buttons and melt our hearts as well.
Happy SITS Day!!!! lOVE IT THAT YOU’RE ceo OF YOUR HOUSE!!!
I bet it was so NICE to get rid of some things! I love de-cluttering.
Visiting form SITS. Hope your SITS day is wonderful. New follower!
Kudos to you! Almost had a heart attack seeing the first picture! My bedroom (also currently our toddler’s playroom) is like that sometimes… which is why we are in the midst of decorating a playroom for him. I’m tired of picking up his toys all over and having heart attacks in the morning when I woke up – seeing the mess…
Congrats on your SITS day btw!
That is awesome! Keep it up! You are the boss! Your kids will be much better people if you keep it up. My sister (5.5 years younger than me) never heard the word no. If someone said no she threw herself on the ground and screamed. My mom was really late picking me up from dance class several times b/c she had to go buy my sister ice cream and let her eat a bowl. It was really awkward to see a 16 year old throw herself on the floor and throw a tantrum b/c mom said no she couldn’t leave the house at 10PM (after about 15 minutes she let my sister go out).
Happy SITS DAY!
I am very proud of you! I tend to take toys away a lot, but as soon as Mommy and Daddy come home, chances are they get to play again after a muttered (albeit adorable) sorry.
But (even though you’ve been getting a bunch of suggestions, I’m sure…) here is my idea to share with you (because that’s what bloggin’s all about right?
So last summer when I was a nanny, we had a very similar situation, and we came up with an awesome idea…
Points…but not like a “star chart” type thing.
Just at the end of the day, you determine how many points their behavior had earned the kids…anywhere from 0 to 5.
This way you can engage the children into how many points THEY think they earned and what the did to earn/lose points. So it’s not just “well you didn’t brush your teeth so you don’t get a star” type thing. Then after a certain number of points, they could “buy” things back…bigger toys had bigger “prices etc. Eventually when they got the few toys back we converted it to real money that they could buy new toys with, dinner out, popcorn at a movie, etc.
Good luck! Look forward to reading your solutions and results!
This doesn’t look like a playroom anymore–what a transformation!
Congrats on your SITS day!
It must have been a hard call to make. What comes next!?
Good for you!! We do the chart thing here – and it works. Anything that gives kiddos a visual of how they are in control of their behavior is a great thing.
Congrats on your SITS day!!!
I’m impressed! This is one of those things I’ve wanted to institute at our house but haven’t had the cajones to actually do. You may have just given me to the power to actually get it done!
I am a sucker for tears, oh witty one. Happy SITS day.
LisaDay
I love it. You are my new hero and I worship at the altar of your awesomeness!!!! I’m totally going to do this next time my kids piss me off. And it’s good for spring cleaning too isn’t it?
Alex aka Ma What’s For Dinner
http://www.mawhats4dinner.com
Wow – what an impressive transformation!
What a great use of energy! I’ve done everything from taking my son’s door off the hindges to taking TV away for a month. I’m all about finding something that REALLY gets to them. Currently, I’m dealing with my middle child who, by the grace of God, is still alive. He has no fear and his head is as thick as a bowling ball. Happy SITS day! Enjoy your day!!!
WOW, you are hysterical, girl. And I applaud your discipline style. Big time. It takes guts to stand up to your kids these days, especially with all the parenting “experts” throwing stuff at us about how our discipline will scar them for all time. Personally, I’m a big John Rosemond fan, and what you just did sounds a lot like his technique called kicking the kids out of the garden of Eden.
Can’t wait to hear about the process of earning their toys back.
Oh, and happy SITS day!!!
Good job! I believe that’s the way to do it! And the playroom looks so much better.
By the way I often say the one about the full time job and the day care haha:)
Funny stuff! I did this one time only with my children only it involved a very large trash bag. I was fed up with the mess and asking millions of times for it to be cleaned up. I shocked the hell out of them (and my husband) when I just grabbed a trash bag and started cleaning house. It was the best feeling ever (after I got over the guilt). Now all I have to do is threaten to get out a trashbag and the mess is cleaned up!
Happy SITS Day!
Jenny
When my girls were little (they are now 14 & 20 & believe the time goes by sooo fast), I told them when they went to bed anything left on the living room/kitchen/bathroom/hallway floor, I assumed they didn’t want & was being thrown away…basically, if I had to pick it up, it was trash. Of course, I didn’t really throw their toys away. I just stuffed them in a big garbage bag & put them in the storeroom….They learned real quick to pick up their stuff
Happy SITS Day!
That’s the way to do it. My daughter has the ‘have to earn back pile’. Just last night she got her huge Pooh Bear back that she chucked across the room the other day when I told her he couldn’t go grocery shopping with us. Happy SITS day!
Hi; you sound like me many years ago when I did something similar to my 2 & 3 year old (loooong before Dc Phil, Oprah or The Doctors ) I confiscated ALL their toys, which they had far too many anyway. In order to get any back they had to “follow mommy’s new rules” and for every toy returned they had to pick another to give to the less fortunate children at the toy bank. Two things accomplished: a lesson in giving and HALF the toys returned back,Yea!!
My 2 little girls are now 28 & 29 years old. OMG my oldest is almost 30!! Oh yes, my new name was not CEO of my household, but thanks to my always loving, always supportive hubby, I became WARDEN! Which by the way, I am to this day, hah ha! Have fun! Wrap your arms around those little monsters and hug, hug,hug! Far too soon they will be bigger than you ( but never to big to hug).
We have taken away his toys before. Does not make for a happy kid but hey at least then they know mommy is serious. Love your posts. You can expect to see me around more often.
I love the idea of a Mom being a CEO, it is totally the truth.
Now about the playroom situation? You are my mom hero. I have one and she isn’t even old enough to make a mess yet, but I hope I can handle that as well as you have!!!
Joanna
Genius move!! Just look at the organization of that room!!! That was a balls-to-the-wall mommy move right there, and kudos for following through! …you’re so inspiring.
And congrats on your SITS Day!!
Go sister! I’ve a very similar experience in my home!
Happy SITS day!
You are my hero! That is AWESOME!!!
My daughter told me this morning I was mean because I told her she could not have money to buy a few new books from the school book fair. I told her she was not taking care of her other books and stuff in her room, so I was not going to buy her anything else until she showed me she was taking care of her room.
Now I am going to go clean up our playroom now (since it doubles as my office & the baby’s room & the guest room).
As a teacher I applaud you for teaching your kids that their actions have consequences! It’s not like they weren’t warned
Good on you for giving them the choice which to hang on to to be earned and which to get rid of, too. My mum would just throw things away if she felt like it – even if they were put away. I think you struck just the right balance, despite the tears
I really must be mean. When I get to that point…I just really do throw or give the toys away. There was a few months where my oldest didn’t have any toys…he pushed me to the limits and I tossed the whole lot of them in the dumpster.
He learned his lesson. Things stay clean AND he no longer acts like a monkey on my good furniture.
Happy SITS day!!
I have SOOOO been there. We kept a sheet of paper on the frige with talley marks anytime the kids did a good deed that was not expected of them. When they reached a certain number they could get 1 toy back. Good luck!
GOOD FOR YOU!!! Holy moly, we’ve actually done the same thing…we were having a hitting issue for a while with little M, and so every time she hit someone, she had a toy taken away. She had to earn them back by having a good week. Each week she didn’t hit or get out of control with her anger (this is where we worked on better ways to express yourself) she earned one back. I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with what you did, I think it’s good parenting, and the kids will remember that lesson for a long, long time.
Oh, that is great! I just did something similar to all my kids’ toys. I too was tired of all the mess and my friend kept talking about a 5 toy challenge (just enough toys to sit under her coffee table). So, I finally reduced my kids toys. I have a large bucket of toys that I rotate some of the toys from once every month or so. So far it has been working pretty nice and they have been having more quality time with their toys.
As for what else to do with them, this is what I am in the process of setting up right now… My mom groing up had a sack and said “the Gunny Monster” came around at a certain time of the day and anything left out would put into his “gunny sack.” Instead of allowance we earned “Smile Bucks” for chores and such that we could spend at my Mom’s store each Saturday. The store was set up on her bed and it had inexpensive treats/toys (pencils, erasers, cheesy games, fun socks, etc) and it also had any of the items “the Gunny Monster” snagged throughout the week. Sometimes I had to use my bucks to get my favorite shirt back. If the personal items weren’t bought/earned back after a few weeks, my Mom donated them because obviously we didn’t want them back bad enough!
Thanks for being honest. I did that a few weeks ago and my son was shocked. Didn’t change his behavior at all though. He is getting better about not leaving toys out since we told him that anything not in place at bedtime goes in the trash (well, the cabinet). Good for you!
Happy SITS day! and I love this post!! I am not a mom yet so I can’t truly relate but this is definitely how I picture myself as a mom, haha, the MeanMom and Hubby will be the nice one calming me down:) My sister and I were very limited in what toys we got growing up…if it was a fad or popular, nuhuh, not gonna happen…earn your own money and then see if you still want it that badly! Well, sounds harsh and hard to do but my sister and I both learned the lesson of the value of money, taking care of what you own, and often by the time we had the money realized it wasn’t worth it to buy! Good work and keep it up…kids need the boundaries more than most people realize:)
Visiting from SITS! Oh I am SO tempted to do just that with my kids playroom…but I know my husband would cave and just give them all back. Plus I don’t think I could be mean enough
p
New follower here to say: Way to go! I hope my monkey man doesnt get that bad…but thanks for the idea
).
i think i’m in love with you!
i’m going to keep this post and look back at it when my (now) 10 month old is getting the best of me!
i can’t wait to read more of this blog… what a hoot!
YEAH!!! YOU TELL EM’, SISTER!!!
Under the circumstances (especially with a shattered lamp where they could have hurt themselves!) you were very fair and had every right to be angry and blow your top a little! Great plan for the 2 piles of toys! And as far as them earning them back, you’re super smart and very savy…I’m sure you’ll come up with something that will teach them a great lesson!
I am so proud/inspired/in awe of you! I have threatened to do it many times but have only come as far as closing and locking their playroom door! good for you! I would have the earn points to buy toys back. They could earn points by behaving, doing chores, etc.
Good to know I am not the only “mean” mom out there
My MIl has a sign that says ” I’m the Mommy, that’s why!”
And that is sooo right!
Happy SiTS day, lady!
This is brilliant!
I am new to your blog from SITS and can I tell you you sound like my wife. We have a 14yr old, 7yr old and 2.5 yr old and the two younger ones are devils in kids bodies. LOL. They push us to our breaking point and when we react to them the tears flow and the feet stomp. I did a post about this on our blog a week or so ago. So reading this post I totally know how you feel. I feel bad for my wife because she is a SAHM and has to deal with this stuff during the day. I look forward to reading more awesome posts from you.
Have a Great Day!
good for you sister! I’m all for being in charge of those little people!
This brings back so many memories. My kids would find that their stuffed animals and toys had gone on a ‘cruise’ and that they had to earn them back. I don’t know if it helped LOL My daughter is a neatnik and my son is still messy-both are in college.
Oh man, I can see what I’m in for… The talking is only beginning but I can tell she will be a negotiator. Thanks for the tips!!!
Visiting from SITS and love this idea! My kids have so many toys and my oldest is only 2! It’s time to clean up the play areas, and I’m going to figure out a way to teach my daughter to “earn” toys.
Haa Haa….I have heard of that threat but to actually carry it out takes balls woman! My girls are past that age thankfully but the one about getting a new mommy and daddy – been there, done that – we did not get the results we were looking for though! Bah!
LOL – Too good! I wouldn’t be laughing, except I’ve done the same thing. Toys gone – all of them but a select few. In fact, we are having another sale tomorrow. We are down to a train set, books, K’nex, Hot Wheels and a few misc. bigger cars and trucks. SO much better than an entire basement full of junk! I’ve actually done the same thing with the laundry in the past, and it works pretty well, also. When you take ‘em down to 4 or 5 play outfits each and 4 Sunday “best” – life is so much easier and less cluttered! Now that I think about it – we are due for a clothes clean out, too! Thanks for reminding me!
I’m laughing as I remember yelling the same thing. I’m glad I’m not the only mom who yells around here.
I am also new from SITS…I have been there done that! It really works, makes them appreciate things more! Keep it up CEO!!
fancy stuff!
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/jingles-may-awards-week-1-awards-4-u-all/#comments
Happy May,
Happy Tuesday!
I’ve been there. Only, I just got out a huge trash bag, told the girls I was throwing away all their toys that were not put up where they belonged, and then I did it.
Of course, I put the trash bag in the basement where they are not allowed and let it sit there for weeks. FINALLY when they’d proven they could take care of what was left and keep it picked up, they were able to earn back everything from the trash bag.
I think I’m gonna have to do it again soon though. It’s looking like a tornado came through the playroom again.
My youngest son (age 17—years, not months) is the only one still living at home. Funny enough, we still to this day have to “clean out” his room about once a month. It’s not like we buy him anything new so we really don’t know where things come from. Somehow we can never see his floor no matter how much time he is in there “cleaning”. Here we are 3days after Christmas and already I regret everything we got for him. The Nook that we mistakenly thought was a great idea being as he loves to read so much…. Epic fail! It was taken away from him this morning. Web surfing capabilities are bad bad bad!! Not only was he awake at all hours surfing, he’s a 17 year old boy so I’m sure you know what’s going on there! Next year he gets socks!!!
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