Witty Mama Kat is my guest blogger for today! I can not get enough of her–she makes me laugh every single day. Here is an older post of hers that is about a very hot topic around my house these days…I am sure we can all relate!
********************
How do you determine which words are ok for your children to say and which are “bad”. Since having kids I’ve stopped swearing almost completely with exception of the occasional “damn” and “shit”, but never within earshot of the little ones.
Yesterday at afternoon snack Maile was roaring at Laina causing her to scream. After reprimending Laina for the unneccessary screaming I turned to Maile and told her to stop roaring. Maile looked away from me, picked up her snack, and said “you’re stupid.” I was shocked! Did I just hear my angelic four year old call me stupid!?! I looked around baffled. “What did you just say??” She got in BIG trouble, sat in time out, apologized and promised to not call anyone that name again.
Here’s the kicker…she said it TWO MORE TIMES THAT DAY!! Referring to inanimate objects, but STILL. Each time she got in trouble. I’ve never heard her say anything like this before and I’m POSITIVE she picked this word up from me. I say “stupid” all the time. And after some thought, I’m now wondering…is it REALLY that bad of a word. It seems likely she’s going to eventually make this word part of her daily vocabularly some time in her lifetime.
Is it a “bad” word because it’s coming from a four year old? Is that why I don’t want her saying it? Because it IS a legitimate word. What words should she use instead? “No no Maile, Mommy’s not stupid…Mommy’s ig-nor-ant. Can you say ig-nor-ant??” Would that be better? Am I mad that she’s using a bad word, or am I mad that she has the audacity to call me a name? Is it ok for her to call her toys stupid? Do I have to stop saying stupid? What is the protocol here??
~Mama Kat, Mama’s Losin’ It
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I think it has a lot to do with age – my older kids are teaching my sweet little princess who is 2 to say things like fart and stupid.
We have taken stupid off the table, since our little darling at 4 was calling her friends stupid, thanks, of course to us using it in our regular vocabulary. However, we have explained now that she is almost 6 and hears it from every grown-up in the world, including our priest (that was a great reaction in church! lol!) that grown-ups use the word stupid about things and events but not to people.
She still doesn’t use the word stupid and we try to refrain from it too. I agree with “mellisarock” what words are ok for you kid has a lot to do with age. Although, I also think that I could try to find better ways to express myself.
Shortly after my return home from the hospital my three year old said “SHIT!” after he spilled something. I quickly asked him who taught him that word. He said, “Daddy did. Daddy said when we make mistakes, sometimes we say SHIT!.” While this logic is true, I still did not want him saying this on Monday when he returned to his church preschool.
So, how did I handle it? I told my son that sometimes adults use ugly words and I gave him permission to call us out the next time we use a bad word in front of him. I also told him that we don’t use ugly words like SHIT because it’s rude and hurts other people’s ears. That was enough explanation for him not to use it anymore.
Great post. I look forward to others input.
When I was growing up, using the word stupid towards another person was as bad as using a curse word. My kids have gotten the “wrath” from my mom for using that word. I think it isn’t so much the word itself but its intent.
Unfortunately, I still have a little work to do on cleaning up my potty mouth. And unfortunately again, I use words a little worse than stupid.