Originally posted on January 8th, 2010
I can’t pass through the check-out at the grocery store without grabbing a magazine. My heart pitter-pats to read about the random happenings of those who constantly keep us guessing (you know, the ones who whine that they have no privacy.) I am so drawn to guessing whose cellulite is exposed on the front page, so curious as to who is cheating on whom, and eager see what, in fact, my favorite celebs look like without makeup. I don’t normally go for magazines that provide anything beneficial, such as those boasting new recipes or ways to get killer abs. It’s the trash that I go for. In the blink of an eye, I’ll spend $5 just to get my fix.
This week, though, the latest issue of Cosmopolitan is what caught my attention–a magazine I haven’t read since my early 20′s. I did a double take when reading the lower left headline on the cover & knew instantly that I needed to buy it.
It read: ”Your Hoo-Ha Handbook: Get a Healthy, Sexy Vagina.”
I wasn’t aware there was anything “sexy” about a vagina. Nor that there could possibly be ways to increase it’s “sexiness.” Truth be told, I didn’t purchase it to learn how to beautify my vajayjay. I bought it because I could not resist seeing if it was a real article that someone was actually paid to write.
The three-page spread shared “15 bits of info to boost your V-Zone comfort level” from everything to an anatomy lesson to, ahem, decoding it’s odor. I’ll do the honors and share some of my favorites with you.
Did you know…your vadge (as they so eloquently refer to it) will not “revirginize” if you’ve gone through a dry spell. My goodness, thanks for clearing that up.
Did you know…things can’t get lost up there ’cause it’s not “a black hole.” Phew! Thanks for the clarification.
and Did you know…you can actually pay for a “designer vagina!” On the high end of the scale, you can blow $7,000 for vaginal rejuvenation. This type of procedure is aimed for tightening your vadge. Can’t afford that? $1,500 will buy you “The G-Shot,” a collagen boost down there that’ll last you three to six months. Decisions, decisions, decisions…
Despite my utter amusement with this Hoo-Ha Handbook, nothing would ever convince me to blow $5 on Cosmo again.
