Today’s guest blogger is Chelle from The Winey Mommy. 

Chelle is an amazing blogger who writes “real” stories about her life as a wife and mom to two beautiful little girls. 
She loves her camera and a nice glass of wine {or margarita!}–she’s my kinda lady!! 

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After having two little girls, I have come up with a fabulous list of must haves for any new mom. Now, these aren’t your typical gift registry items–and I hardly doubt that my must haves are sitting on a shelf or hanging up on a rack at the local baby store.  These are items that I sometimes wish I could have told people when someone asked me for the hundredth time, “What would you like for the baby? Is there anything you need?”  And while I answered them with a reply of, “Oh, nothing really…I think we’re all set!”, I was compiling a little list of my own–you know, for me.
 
1) Hemorrhoid creme/Tucks pads. Okay, this one I’m not happy about having on the list, but hey, it happens to the best of us–some more than others. Awful, no fun and definitely not one of the happier points of postpartum recovery. Ahem. Moving on now…

2) Wine. A good beer. I’m not talking about a bottle of Boone’s or case of Nattie Light…I’m talking about your favorite adult beverage of choice. I know after the company was gone and I started to get into the routine of having a newborn that there were nights that I wanted nothing more than a glass of wine or an awesome beer. With a bag of candy corn. No judgment please.

3) A non-baby related magazine or book. This is to go with number two. A chick flick book. A trashy magazine. Just something that I could lose myself in for a few moments that would let me somewhat escape for just a little bit…

4) A gift card to a non-baby store. You know, to buy something that wasn’t maternity related or in a size NB for the new little munchkin. Postpartum shopping was miserable for me. I hated going shopping and shelling out money for clothes that I would most likely never want to wear again. Simply for the fact that the size that I bought was not a size that I was proud of or a size that I wanted to stick around…

5) And last, but certainly not least, how about we go and get a pedi together. Make a surprise appointment, come to my home and whisk me away for a little while. I know that once I started getting into that routine I was dying to go with a girlfriend to my toes did, have some girl talk, and sit in a massage chair.

There you have it. The non-baby wish list that I wish I was ballsy enough to actually tell someone to get for the new baby, er, mom. What are some of the things you wish you could have asked for that you probably never would ask for?

~ Chelle, The Winey Mommy

When I started blogging, I never imagined I’d make “friends” with someone living miles away!  But, today’s guest blogger became just that–my bloggy-friend!  It’s Mellisa from Getting All My Ducks in a Row! 

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This one cracks me up. I really want to answer back with a sarcastic no and say they just started following me around in the parking lot. Say I can’t understand why they keep asking me to pay for their stuff. Or better yet – say I found that one, stole that one, that one is actually mine and the other was hitch hiking.

But what I was also thinking about were the long term effects of having multiple children.

I have provided myself with constant company – even when unwanted like in the bathroom.

I firmly believe that what I teach my children can change the world. With each generation we are passing on our beliefs and values – my children will leave my home with a sense of dignity, humility and the belief that a person is a person no matter how big, small, color, race or gender. They will also leave with a sense of purpose to right things they see wrong – to help those who need it and be the change they want to see in the world.

Having 4 kids should also make me Grandma many times over, provide entertainment at Thanksgiving with their drama, and more people to wipe my ass and keep me out of a nursing home.

One thing that I am not asked is when are we having more. While I am completely finished having children I still get that “one more wouldn’t be so hard” feeling when seeing Dads carrying car seats with tiny little feet poking out of the end, women in their 3 trimester, and tiny heads laying on shoulders.

But then like clock work one of my rowdy bunch comes in complaining about some in justice that was imparted upon them by a sibling and I know that my hands really are full with these 4 children that are all mine.

~ Mellisa, Getting All My Ducks in a Row

Witty Mama Kat is my guest blogger for today! I can not get enough of her–she makes me laugh every single day. Here is an older post of hers that is about a very hot topic around my house these days…I am sure we can all relate!

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How do you determine which words are ok for your children to say and which are “bad”.   Since having kids I’ve stopped swearing almost completely with exception of the occasional “damn” and “shit”, but never within earshot of the little ones.

Yesterday at afternoon snack Maile was roaring at Laina causing her to scream. After reprimending Laina for the unneccessary screaming I turned to Maile and told her to stop roaring. Maile looked away from me, picked up her snack, and said “you’re stupid.”  I was shocked! Did I just hear my angelic four year old call me stupid!?! I looked around baffled. “What did you just say??” She got in BIG trouble, sat in time out, apologized and promised to not call anyone that name again.

Here’s the kicker…she said it TWO MORE TIMES THAT DAY!! Referring to inanimate objects, but STILL. Each time she got in trouble. I’ve never heard her say anything like this before and I’m POSITIVE she picked this word up from me. I say “stupid” all the time. And after some thought, I’m now wondering…is it REALLY that bad of a word. It seems likely she’s going to eventually make this word part of her daily vocabularly some time in her lifetime.

Is it a “bad” word because it’s coming from a four year old? Is that why I don’t want her saying it? Because it IS a legitimate word. What words should she use instead? “No no Maile, Mommy’s not stupid…Mommy’s ig-nor-ant. Can you say ig-nor-ant??” Would that be better? Am I mad that she’s using a bad word, or am I mad that she has the audacity to call me a name? Is it ok for her to call her toys stupid? Do I have to stop saying stupid? What is the protocol here??

~Mama Kat, Mama’s Losin’ It

Today’s guest blogger is one of my absolute favorites–a must-read with my coffee each and every morning….
it’s Angie, from Seven Clown Circus!!  Take her advice…she’s got 5 kids!  She knows her stuff!

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I suppose that one of the first things you should know about me is that I love to guest post (thank you, Chrissy!). I’m not quite sure why. Sadly, I think it just might be the vanity it me that screams, “I got asked to guest post on blank, blank, blanks, blog”. Whatever the event, I’m happy to be here and hope that you’ll take me seriously (especially you new moms) when I tell you that I am an expert on Motherhood, and you really should listen to me. I do know what I’m talking about, as I have tons of experience in this field (said tongue-in-cheek). May I present to you my Mothering advice in letter form?

Dear Soon-to-be-new-mom,

You are about to embark on the adventure of a life time. There is nothing quite like it. Trust me on that one. As a seasoned mother of five, I feel experienced enough to offer you a few tidbits of advice.

Now, I’m well aware that the advice I’m about to give you isn’t the typical advice given like:

• nap when the baby naps
• take time out for you
• don’t let your child sleep with you
• remember your partner-they might feel left out
• don’t spank or scream at your child; take 10 cleansing breaths before punishing child

Just to reiterate, my advice isn’t typical, but it is lovingly given, and it makes sense. To me. I can’t help but think that if it makes sense, there must be something to it. Now, these items of advice are NOT tried and true by me, but I’m pretty sure they’ve worked for others, so why not you too? If nothing else, it’s something to think about.

1. Locks. Install a lock on the outside your child’s door post haste. Take out all furniture except mattress (for safeties sake) and set a sleep routine. At bedtime, tuck child into mattress bed, give him/her a nice kiss good night and then LOCK them IN. In this way they:

• learn to become independent sleepers
• won’t interrupt your sleep by trying to get into bed with you (because they can’t)
• won’t be able to roam around the house attended should they wake up before their schedule allows.

This lock also works for naps in the same way it works for nighttime sleeping. I recommend a schedule something like this:

6pm to 9 am (night time rest)

11am to 4 pm (nap time)

2. Corporal punishment. Just do it. It’s worked in the past. Why not now? I know that this is highly frowned upon now, just don’t do it in public. If you decide to inflict bodily pain in order to teach a lesson, do it at home. I bet if they are afraid of being beat they’ll listen. I’m just sayin’. I’ve also heard that having a child kneel on sand or something gritty for an extended period of time works wonders. The benefits are:

• You child will most likely be forced into submission to your will and you won’t have to worry about back talking or inappropriate behavior in public.
• Your child with time may appreciate the motherly love you exhibited in order to mold them into the child you want them to be.

3. Diapers. Changing your child’s diaper when it is wet or soiled is bad for the environment if you use disposable diapers. Why not go green and only change the child once a day?

4. Eating. Parents should eat before the child. The alpha male and female should take all the sustenance they need and then offer the left overs to the off-spring. This does a few things:

• Establishes dominance
• Allows the child to learn self control. If they go hungry they’ll have to learn to master their appetite which can help in so many other areas in life.

5. Talking. You know that saying “children should be seen but not heard?” I think there is something to that. Children should be taught to be respectful of their elders and not speak unless spoken to. It also might be prudent to have children not seen OR heard. If you must go out, leave them at home, it’s easier that way on everyone. Just think how excited they’ll be to finally explore the world when they become adults!

Now, I wouldn’t presume to think that you’ll embrace all of these parenting suggestions, but I do think all of them have merit and might be a tremendous help to you as your embark on this journey through parenting.

Hugs and kisses with rainbows and puppy dog tails–
Your friend and child behavior advocate,

~ Angie, Seven Clown Circus

My first guest blogger is none other than Mary, otherwise known as The Mommyologist in the blog0sphere.  What I love about her the most is that she tells it like it is, and says things that the rest of us are totally thinking!  In particular, I love Mary’s posts about being “Mom Sexy” and proud of it!  All too often we play the role of “mom” and forget that we are first and foremost a woman!  Mary gives readers great tips to combine the two, and she even put together a guide for my readers to help us achieve Mom-Sexiness this summer…

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Where did the time go?  It’s already the middle of summer and before we know it, the leaves will be changing and the kiddos will be back in school.  Doesn’t it seem like the season keeps getting shorter and shorter every year?
 
Summer can be a tough time for a lot of women as far as feeling Mom Sexy goes.  There’s something about baring it all in a bathing suit, which is really nothing more than glorified underwear, that really makes us gals cringe and feel less than attractive…am I right?
 
Well, I’ve compiled a list of a few things that you can do to “up your sexy” this summer…even if you aren’t exactly feeling like a beauty queen!
 
1.  Invest in a really cute pair of trendy sunglasses.  Mine are Cole Haan and I got them at TJ Maxx…and I think I paid about $20 for them.  Whenever I wear them, they make me feel just a little bit more glamorous.  They also make you look more put together, and you can totally skip the eye makeup! 
 
2.  Wear your sunscreen, of course, but don’t hesitate to get a little bit of color on your bod!  Even a slight tan can make you look a little bit leaner and more toned.  And the experts are now advising people to spend about 20 minutes in the sun each day to get the recommended daily dose of Vitamin D. It turns out the sun isn’t as bad as we thought!
 
3.  To stay cool and comfortable, and to feel a little more girly and sexy, opt for sundresses and flowy skirts instead of shorts on super-hot days.  There’s seriously nothing worse than the feeling of shorts chafing your thighs in 90 degree weather.  Dresses and skirts not only make you LOOK sexier, but you will actually FEEL better in them.  Trust me!
 
4.  If you were as big a fan of the show Friends as I was, then you will understand my next tip.  Do some “feet flirtin!”  And that doesn’t mean that you have to splurge on bi-weekly pedicures.  All you need is a foot file from the dollar store, a bright shade of toe polish, and a nice, moisturizing foot cream to apply at night to make your feet look totally fab in flip flops.  Cute feet are sexy feet!
 
5.  To end your summer nights on a sexy note, put the kiddos to bed a little early so that you have time to grab a glass of wine, put your feet up, and watch the sunset.  Sometimes just taking the time to unwind without the distraction of the TV, computer, or endless requests of, “Mommy! I need this!  Mommy, I need that!”, brings you back into your true self and reminds you of the smart, beautiful, sexy individual that you are.  And yes, you deserve it!
 
 
There you have it ladies!  Hope my little tips will help you feel a bit sexier these last few weeks of summer.  Enjoy!
~ Mary, The Mommyologist